


Once Again

by L0VINGHYUNNIE



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:14:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26250244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L0VINGHYUNNIE/pseuds/L0VINGHYUNNIE
Summary: A story of unending chances, unending regrets, and wrong timingsunending chances that were taken for grantedunending regrets in this world that is full of what ifsand the wrong timings for the love of byun baekhyun and park chanyeol in this cruel world and destiny.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Once Again

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! it's me again but this time it's not smut muna >< it's my first time posting an angsty dtory here in ao3 soooo ayun po i hope yall will read and love it!!! LET'S START????

After two years, baekhyun and chanyeol saw each other again after all that happened between the two of them

  
  


today marks the birthday of their dear friend, junmyeon.. they expected to see each other but they didn't expect to be in this situation right now

But they need to face it, there’s nothing else to do.. Now is the time to stop running away from the past.

baekhyun and chanyeol are currently together.. standing in the sand, both facing the sun as it sets

"I'm here to make you mine again, baekhyun.. I'm here to prove myself and my love for you.." 

chanyeol said in the middle of their kwentuhan about their lives, the usual kumustahan about two people who have a past. 

"pano ba yan? hindi na ako marupok ngayon eh" 

baekhyun answered him 

"then I'll make you marupok again.. I'll make you mine again, basta makuha lang kita ulit at maging akin ka ulit..." 

"naks, bat ka naman ganyan.. baka rumupok ako ulit" baekhyun tried to make the atmosphere lighter 

  
  


"seryoso ka na ba ngayon? tandaan mo, ikaw ang unang nagloko" chanyeol said to him that made baekhyun shocked, siya? nagloko? saang banda? kailan? he clearly knows na hindi siya ang nagloko between them

"huh? anong ako?"

"nung oras na nagustuhan kita, ayaw mo ko.. pinalayo mo ko sayo, hinayaan mo akong ligawan ka kahit may nagugustuhan kita" 

baekhyun chuckled heavily with what chanyeol have said, ayun naman pala ang tinutukoy ni chanyeol

"pero nung oras na minahal na kita.. ginago mo ko, niloko mo ko, pinaglaruan mo ko.."

"nakausad na ako, chanyeol.. tigilan mo na ko" 

  
  


"nakausad nga ba, baekhyun?" 

he's already fine, he knows it.. he's definitely fine

but that definitely turned into an uncertainty now that the man that he loved the most is now talking to him about their past, the unending chances that he gave, and all of their regrets..

it's been two damn years, two damn years of crying and letting go. he's already over from everything and from this man, but the pain is still there, the scar that he left in his heart is still there

"i really liked you back then, i was willing to change my self for you.. but tinaboy mo ko, i thought we have a chance, but you gave up even tho we haven't started and tried it yet" 

"i know what you want from me, experience. because you haven't had a boyfriend or girlfriend since birth.. i tried to understand you but why baek? pang ganun lang ba ako? seryoso ako para sayo that time pero yun lang ang pakay mo sakin.." 

  
  


he faced baekhyun, the sun is reflecting on his beautiful skin, baekhyun is so beautiful.. and in that moment, he proved in himself more what did he lose because of the pain that he had caused to baekhyun

"and that's when i decided to stop, i know my worth baek.. i know when to stop, and that's exactly what i did"

  
  


baekhyun was not facing him, but he spoke and said

  
  


"but how can you say na niloko kita, chan? that time my feelings for that person is already fading, you know your worth or you just don't want to change your image to others? you know your worth or you just know that you still have many girls or boys naman na ipapalit sakin? kaya sumuko ka agad.."

and those words, brought pain to chanyeol's heart, because he knows it's true 

"i told you to wait for me.. because i wasn't ready yet that time when we we're starting.. i am scared, i am very scared. takot akong sumugal because i am so scared of getting hurt, but still, sumugal ako for you despite of the uncertainties that i have because of love"

"yes, nung una yun lang ang pakay ko.. because honestly speaking, i dont like you back then.. but after some time, i fell for you.. unti unti kitang minahal, pero kasabay ng pagmamahal ko sayo ang ang pagkawala ng nararamdaman mo para sakin, at ng panggagago mo sakin" 

"it hurts, chanyeol.. it hurts, but kahit ganun i accepted it, i admitted to myself that maybe i was the one na may mali talaga kaya nagkaganun tayo" 

  
  


chanyeol averted his gaze and once again looked at the sunset that is in front of them

"all this time i was blaming myself on what happened between the two of us.. but i realized, should i really blame myself? is it my fault, chanyeol? tell me" 

baekhyun is already on the verge of crying, but he's trying to stop the tears

because no, he's already fine.. his tears shouldn't fall

"yes, it was my fault at first. but bumawi ako sayo, chanyeol pinaramdam ko sayo ang pagmamahal ko" 

Chanyeol smiled but it’s not real, he’s on the verge of crying too.. This conversation is too much, too much..

#####  \---//---

#####  baekhyun doesn't like chanyeol, he HATED him very much..

they were never friends, they are just two people who just know each other but acts as if they are just nobodies 

  
  


kaya nung nanligaw ito ay talagang hindi ito pumayag, and he didn't let him

he really liked baekhyun, but yun nga ayaw ni baekhyun sa kanya dahil may iba rin siyang nagugustuhan

but chanyeol didn't stop, and baekhyun wants an experience with someone, so he let chanyeol court him

  
  


they were okay, but they obviously know that there's something wrong

nagpatuloy ang ligawan at unti unti nang nahuhulog si baekhyun

but the moment that he's starting to fall, chanyeol's feelings were fading.. because chanyeol knew that baekhyun only wants experience from him, he felt that baekhyun is just playing with his feelings just because he wants experience.. and it's unfair for chanyeol

it was after baekhyun's birthday when he felt that he's losing chanyeol.. but he thought it WAS fine because why? he's just starting to fall right? he can still manage his damn feelings 

  
  


but he was wrong, he was just denying to himself but the truth is, hulog na siya.. hulog na hulog na. but is chanyeol still there to save him? 

it was their acquaintance party when he told his feelings for chanyeol while they were dancing, baekhyun is crying while telling his feelings

  
  


and after that night, they continued what was happening between them.. because maybe, this is the perfect timing for them already

  
  
  


everything was perfect.. they seem so in love with each other, they do things that every two people in a relationship do.. not until baekhyun knew that chanyeol was just toying him

  
  


yes, pinaglaruan siya ni chanyeol ng sobra sobra, because for chanyeol.. everything's enough for them, but he doesn't want to lose baekhyun. it seems like he did a revenge. 

nalaman ni baekhyun nuon na maraming sinabay si chanyeol sa kanya, but as the tanga at nagmamahal that he is.. he accepted it and continued loving chanyeol

  
  


and chanyeol knows baekhyun's pain and struggles just for him.. but he chose to continue what he's doing and continued to hurt baekhyun

  
  


baekhyun gave his everything to chanyeol.. as in everything, he thought that if he do that, chanyeol will be his. 

  
  


but again, he was wrong. 

  
  


paulit ulit ang panloloko, paulit ulit ang pananakit pero hinayaan lang ni baekhyun

  
  


paulit ulit na may kasama at katalik na iba bukod sa kanya, pero pinagpatuloy niya dahil mahal niya

  
  


ganun siya katanga. 

  
  


they were in an open relationship, yes. 

  
  


and the time that baekhyun decided to give up his love for chanyeol.. chanyeol felt his loss and there he felt that he's already inlove for baekhyun

  
  


and baekhyun accepted him with open arms once again

but history repeats itself, ganun ulit ang nangyari. ganun ulit ang ginawa ni chanyeol, paulit ulit hanggang sa mapagod si baekhyun

and the time that baekhyun got tired, chanyeol kept on coming back to him, but he kept on doing the same thing, giving the same pain

at sa oras na minahal at ayaw na pakawalan ni chanyeol si baekhyun, ay ang oras ng pagsuko ni baekhyun

  
  
  


nung oras na minahal na siya ni chanyeol and chanyeol doesn't wants to let him go, baekhyun is already giving uo for their love

it is always a wrong timing for the both of them

  
  


nagkakasalisihan sila ng pagmamahalan, the world is so cruel for the both of them

but for the last time, ayaw na talaga ni baekhyun

maraming pagmamakaawa, maraming paguusap

  
  


pero pagod na si baekhyun, suko na siya. 

  
  


#####  And that happens once again, right now

\---//---

"yun lang ang ginawa ko, pero grabe naman ang ibinalik mong sakit sakin, chanyeol? sana pinatay mo nalang ako dahil sa sakit na pinadama mo"

baekhyun finally faced him, not stopping on what he's saying 

  
  
  


"we were okay, right? we were trying.. but one day hindi ka nalang nagparamdam sakin, and it was after my fcking birthday, chanyeol.. it was after you showed me how genuine your feelings are for me, you showed me how serious you are, and maybe i was dumb to believe that you were"

"but nung hindi ka nagparamdam, i said okay lang sakin.. kasi bakit sana diba? why would i wait for you? who am i to assume na babalik ka? wala namang tayo diba?" 

he smiled to chanyeol, but again it didn't reached his mesmerizing eyes

"but you came back to me, and i accepted you with open arms.. but why chanyeol? why did you have to hurt me that much?" 

  
  


"minahal kita, chanyeol.. minahal kita, nandun ako nung mga oras na kailangan mo ko, minahal kita despite of the circumstances and struggles that we were in, nagpakatanga ako sayo.. i stayed by your side even tho i know na marami kang iba at marami akong kahati sayo.."

the tears that baekhyun were stopping to fall a while ago is now falling in his face, and chanyeol hates to see him like that, but what can he do? 

why? why does it still hurt baekhyun? he's already okay, right? but why does he still feel the heaviness in his chest? why is he crying over it right now? 

"minahal kita, chanyeol.. minahal kita ng sobra pero bakit ginago mo ako? b-bakit niloko mo ko?" 

"at ako naman tong tangang nagpaloko sayo.." 

baekhyun is now sobbing as he's saying those words to chanyeol, hindi na niya kayang pigilan

"i kept on asking myself, why? may kulang ba sakin? ako ba talaga ang may problema? all this time, sinisi ko ang sarili ko kung bakit ako nasasaktan, chanyeol.." 

  
  


"bakit kailangan mo ko saktan? bakit kailangan mo ko lokohin? ganun nalang ba kababa ang tingin mo sakin at sa pagmamahal ko? kaya mo ako kinayang gaguhin ng ganun ganun nalang?" 

  
  


baekhyun wiped the tears in his eyes, ang sakit. ang sakit sakit pa rin pala na balikan ang nakaraan, pero kahit punasan niya ang mga luha ay patuloy pa rin ang pagagos nito

"all this time i was blaming myself. what if i loved you first? what if i let you into my heart agad? but as time passes by, i realized.. what if hindi mo ko niloko? what if hindi mo ko ginago? baka hindi tayo ganito ngayon, baka masaya tayong nagmamahalan.."

  
  


chanyeol tried to wipe his tears but baekhyun shoved his hands

  
  


chanyeol is also crying right now, he hates everything.. but he hates himself the most, no he doesn't just hate himself.. he loathes himself.

  
  


because how? paano niya nakayang ganunin si baekhyun, pano niya kinayang paiyakin ito ng ganto? paano niya nagawang saktan ang taong minamahal niya ngayon? 

ang daming tanong ni baekhyun at chanyeol, pero kahit isang tanong ata ay hindi mabibigyan ng sagot

  
  


"diba, sinabi ko sayo chanyeol? i begged you, i begged you to stay with me, i begged you na akong paglaruan ang pagmamahal ko sayo.. pero anong ginawa mo? paulit ulit mo kong sinaktan at ginago!" 

  
  


"pinaramdam mo sa akin na wala lang ako sayo, chanyeol.. i gave you many chances, but you've taken them for granted... sinaktan mo pa rin ako kahit ilang chances ang binigay ko sayo" 

  
  


chanyeol can't take it anymore, nilapitan niya si baekhyun and he hugged him, nagpupumiglas si baekhyun but chanyeol's arms are too strong para makalaya siya

  
  


even their feelings for each other are too strong that they can't let go of the pains. 

  
  


baekhyun is a crying mess right now, his eyes are too heavy because of crying, his heart is too heavy because of the pain. 

  
  
  


Hindi na siya nagpumiglas kay chanyeol na yakapin siya, because this will be the last time that he will let him do it.

and this will be the last time that he will let chanyeol talk to him about the past, and also the last time that he will be able to hurt baekhyun

"t-tapos ngayon, babalik ka para sabihin sakin na mahal mo ko? you're coming back to say that you want me back in your life again? putangina naman chanyeol, kung isa nanaman to sa kagaguhan mo, please.. tama na..." 

  
  


chanyeol made baekhyun face him, and he cupped his face

he wants to prove to baekhyun that he's serious about him this time, and that he loves him truly 

  
  


"baek, baekhyun.. listen to me.. I'm here to prove my love for you once again.. baek, I'm here to start anew with you, I'm here para bawiin lahat ng sakit na binigay ko sayo, hindi para saktan at gaguhin ka ulit, no... baekhyun" 

  
  
  


"baek, pinagsisisihan ko lahat ng nagawa ko sayo, please maniwala ka sakin.. ayaw kong mawala ka sakin please" chanyeol plead

  
  


"c-chanyeol, sa tingin mo ba ganun kadali yun ha? hindi.. chanyeol" 

"you made me feel so unworthy, i gave all of my love to you but what did you gave in return?" 

they're now staring at each other.. but their eyes convey the same feelings

  
  


pain. 

  
  


umiling si baekhyun and that made chanyeol cry harder

"nawala na ako sayo, chanyeol.. bakit ngayon ka lang kung kailan pagod na ko?" 

"don't you believe me, baek? i promise i won't hurt you again... i won't do the same thing again.. please believe me baekhyun please"

  
  


"c-chanyeol, kung isa nanaman to sa mga paraan mo para pahulugin at saktan ulit ako, please.. itigil mo na, maawa ka sakin.."

  
  


"no, baekhyun! hindi ko ginagawa to para saktan ka ulit"

  
  


baekhyun was shocked when chanyeol suddenly knelt

  
  


"chanyeol.. hey, what are you doing? tumayo ka diyan!"

  
  


mas napahagulgol na si baekhyun ngayon

"I'm willing to give all my love and my everything, baekhyun.. i promise i won't let you go this time, i promise I'll love you more.. just please let me, let me take away the pain and let me in to your heart again.."

  
  


"c-chanyeol tumayo ka diyan please... huwag namang ganto.."

  
  
  


"no.. baekhyun hayaan mo ako, please mahal na mahal kita baekhyun"

  
  


baekhyun forced him to stand up at wala nang magawa si chanyeol kaya tumayo nalang ito, he once again cupped baekhyun's face and let their foreheads lean to each other

  
  


"baekhyun i love you... please believe me..."

  
  


baekhyun touched chanyeol's face and caressed it

  
  


"i believe you, chanyeol.."

  
  


and those words somehow gave chanyeol hope

  
  


but that hope didn't last as baekhyun said the next words to him

"pero minahal mo ko kung kailan pagod na ako, chanyeol.." 

"sorry dahil pagod na ako... sorry dahil hindi ko na kaya, sorry dahil suko na ako sa pagmamahal ko sayo at sa kung anong meron tayo..."

  
  
  
  


chanyeol also cupped his face

"no.. baekhyun don't say that, let's start anew, baek.. we'll make it right this time, we'll do better this time.. we will be a better version of ourselves this time"

  
  
  
  
  


baekhyun smiled at him, but he knows it's a fake and painful smile

  
  


sana ganun kadali, sana hindi mahirap

  
  


sana ganun kadaling pakawalan ang sakit, sana ganun kadaling bumalik ang sayang nararamdaman sa isa't isa

  
  


pero hindi, dahil kahit anong gawin nila ay hindi na magbabago ang nakaraan, mahirap hilumin ang sakit na dulot nito

  
  


"totoo ang sabi mo chanyeol, let's make it right and let's be a better version of ourselves.. 

  
  
  


but let's do it for ourselves and not for each other, yeol"

  
  
  


"this will be the last time that we'll talk about this, chanyeol.. and also the last time that we will hurt ourselves because of the past.."

  
  


"but bae-" 

  
  


but baekhyun decided to cut him off

"let me go now, chanyeol.. let us let each other go now, because it will just hurt us more... hangga't ganito tayo, hindi tayo makakausad from the past" 

"maybe the timing and destiny is not really by our side, maybe.. no, not maybe, this is the perfect time for us to let our love for each other go, pakawalan na natin ang isa't isa, chanyeol.." 

  
  


"tama na, chanyeol.. wag na nating ipilit dahil hindi talaga tayo ang para sa isa't isa" 

  
  
  


baekhyun clinged his arms in chanyeol's neck and let their noses touch

  
  


"minahal kita chanyeol, o baka nga mahal pa kita, pero mukhang pati ang tadhana at pagasa ay sumuko na para sa pagmamahalan nating dalawa.." 

"let's end all the unending chances that we gave to each other, and let us let go of all the regrets that we have because of each other.."

"i loved and love you, chanyeol.. and that will never change" 

  
  
  


then he kissed chanyeol, for the last time... 

the sunset is so beautiful.. just like the two persons who are painfully talking right now

but that beautiful sunset is not as beautiful as what is happening between the two, somehow, they already know where is this going

  
  


and it's painful for the both of them, but they have to do this.. for the peace of their minds and the peace of their sanity

#####  Kasabay ng paglubog ng araw ay ang paglubog at pagtatapos ng kung anong meron sila at ng pagmamahalan nila

baekhyun is right, this is the perfect time for them to let go of each other

  
  


and they have to accept it, it's hard. but they have to, for themselves and for the pain to be gone. 

  
  


this is a story of unending chances, wrong timing, and regrets.

  
  


maybe destiny and fate is really not by their side. 

  
  


and now, it's time to move on and let go of each other. 

it hurts but you will not be able to go on to a beautiful future if you don't let go of the past pains

this is a story of unending chances, unending regrets, and wrong timings 

  
  
  


unending chances that were taken for granted

unending regrets in this world that is full of what ifs

  
  


and the wrong timings for the love of byun baekhyun and park chanyeol in this cruel world and destiny. 

  
  
  
  


baekhyun and chanyeol is a long story to tell

But it has to end right now.

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO ULET SHHDDHD ewan ko kung maganda at masaket ba siya omg wag niyo ko awayin im: bABIE charot pero ayun po sana nagustuhan niyo at/nasaktan/ kayo sa maikling angsty story na ito.. andd sorry rin kung maikli lang yung back story nila wALA NA PO AKONG MADAGDAG huhuhu ayun po sana nagustuha niyooo :(( please leave a kudos and comment or qrt your reacts on twt or send me a message on cc!! :))


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